Ask Janalee Anything

CHALLENGE: 

I've been dating my boyfriend for 4 months ... we're so very compatible. We get along excellent. I don't know why I'm scared to tell him, "Yank my Hair," when I'm ready to cum? It fires me up, but what if he thinks I'm weird for asking?  

I don't feel safe enough ... I don't want to overwhelm him. I've asked other men to pull on my hair. I can ask guys I'm not really into, you know, the guys I'm hooking up with... with no emotions. 

What's wrong with me?

MY ADVICE:

I'm so glad you asked a sensitive question. I hope this encourages others. 

Listen, it's time to share your desires. What happens if you wait another 4-6 months and you two get serious? Won't your boyfriend be a little mad that you weren't open to sharing this sooner rather than later? 

Most boyfriends want to please in bed. There's no reason to compromise on your own pleasure. Ask for what you want. If fear denies you pleasant possibilities, you'll feel less accessible in the heat of passion. What if he's holding something back that he likes? Wouldn't you be insulted if he waited 8 months to tell you something intimate like that? 

You can't force anyone to try something new. But at least be brave enough to ask. 

Explain that you've been shy about asking him to try something new. Say, I'd like you to pull my hair at the nape of my neck once I'm beyond the point of arousal and near the point of a sexual release. On the safe side, you might want to show him how hard to pull. You want to be excited. You don't need pain. 

If there are other things you'd like to try, ask him to share his list with you of things he'd like to try. Let him mull it over. A few days later, Honey, are you ready to try pulling my hair tonight? I'll give you feedback afterward so we're on the same page. 

You'll end up wondering what the big deal was about. You both may excel at hair-pulling adventures.